Chapter 4: Knock-Knock… @ 144 beats per minute


Jan 14, 2012

9:30 a.m.

I’m at the hospital for my first ultrasound—the TVS, or Total Vaginal Scan, to be more precise.  It’s one of those countless, hugely embarrassing exercises that you are subjected to during the course of your pregnancy. But the reason this TVS merits a mention is here is not because of it embarrassing nature.

It’s on this page because this is when I say “Hello…” to my baby for the first time.

It’s when I hear that sound.

Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock………..

Now, this isn’t like the twin bump-bump, bump-bump of your heart (that your palm feels across your chest) or your spouse’s (that you love to hear across his chest). It’s a steady, thumping knock-knock-knock-knock-knock…. Like a super-fast engine rushing ahead…. in fact, the super-fast little baby in a huge rush to reach its destination.

The sound fills my ears, it fills the room, and I am wonderstruck.

This, this precious moment, is my first pleasant contact with my baby. After days and days of whining, moping, crying and cursing (the world, not the baby!) this knocking gives me one little moment of simple, wondrous pleasure.

“Hello, little one…”   I feel happy.

My first thought, of course, is that Sajjad isn’t here to share this with me. He’s waiting outside and I wish and wish and wish that I’d called him in. I make a mental note to ask him to come inside with me the next time. He’s gonna love it.

Here’s what the report says:

Early live intrauterine pregnancy of approximately 7 weeks.  Heartbeat : 144 beats per minute.

That’s one helluva speed for that teeny-tiny heart, little one!  I can see you’re in a great hurry to be here….